‘Excuse me hen, your a pure weirdo’!

Earlier this week I was minding my own business in my garden digging over a patch with my usual anticipation of filling it! The sun was shining, at by the end of digging I was roasting, so I decided to sweep my pathways to cool off a bit, not wanting to stop working for fear of procrastination setting in!

So I get the broom out, begin sweeping. Then the dog spies my broom, and rushes over barking and grabbing wildly at the bristles! I attempt to shoo her away, but she manages to grab the broom, and so an all out tug ‘o’ war ensues, and I’m on the handle end giving it my all, and the dog is on the brush end clinging to as many bristles as she can while tugging in that piston like fashion that dogs do. The more I pull the more the dog thinks it’s a game and tugs harder, and the more I try to prize her big white teeth off it! Next thing I know I feel like I am being watched!

I look up to a house opposite and see the curtains twitch closed in the upper right hand window. I choose to ignore it and concentrate on saving my broom from the jaws of the dog, but I keep my eyes on that window every now and again and then it happened again, the curtains twitch and a little gap appears, this goes on for a while, when eventually I just stop fighting the dog for my broom, let it go and wave at the window and shout ‘hello there’! The curtains then flew open and a woman stands there, hands on hips looking down at me like I just flicked the V’s at her…Not sure what her problem was, but I wasn’t exactly pleased about being watched, so if anyone should have hand their hands on their hips throwing dirty looks at anyone, it should have been vice versa!  Deciding to turn my back on her I go to find out where the dog has left my broom…I find her gumming it’s handle on the patio like a lion who just caught an antelope! It survived relativley unscathed, but I did need to unreel the hose because the dog loves the hose, so I distracted her with that and while she dashed about trying to catch the end of the hose as it swirled and skooshed about, I finally got my sweeping done :/

Vxxx

14 Responses

  1. gertie says:

    …and you got a soaking from the swishing hose and with a bit of luck you accidentally turned it on full and it accidentally hit the woman’s window? :unsure: :whistle: B-) :yahoo:

    • Haha, I was on enough to move about, enough to distract the dog, although I feel that if I’d put the nozzle on and turned up the water I could defo have reached that window! :yahoo:

    • I remember she said my dog barks too much and scares her cats!
      I replied, ‘Oh well that’s why they poop in my fecking garden then huh, because their scared of my dog who wasn’t out there at the time?’
      She starts swearing at me, so I tell her that I don’t much like cleaning up her pets poop, so how about as a way to make things fair, I let my dog poop on her front path and let her clean it up!?
      She didn’t like that, but to be honest she hasn’t been the nicest woman since she moved in…She came to my door once, complaining, that she could see me getting dressed in my bedroom in the morning at about 8am from her room…I mean who’s the weirdo here?!! I told her it was my home and that I would swing my bits about whenever I wanted because she shouldn’t be peeking in my windows! I then asked if she needed a loan of a pair of binoculars-then she said-’I’ve already got some’ :|
      What do you say to that? :scratch:

  2. Beanstew says:

    Well, I’d rather enjoy a bit of spontaneous fun with a brush :yahoo: , even if others thought I was “daft as the proverbial brush” :wacko: – than be a surreptitious curtain twitcher. :negative:

    • Haha maybe that was what she thought! Thats I was mad! I’m not sure if she is infact lonely..Still no need for her to be a weird curtain tweaker! Lol, I said hi to one of her cats a few weeks ago she nearly ripped my head off!

    • I remember she said my dog barks too much and scares her cats!
      I replied, ‘Oh well that’s why they poop in my fecking garden then huh, because their scared of my dog who wasn’t out there at the time?’
      She starts swearing at me, so I tell her that I don’t much like cleaning up her pets poop, so how about as a way to make things fair, I let my dog poop on her front path and let her clean it up!?
      She didn’t like that, but to be honest she hasn’t been the nicest woman since she moved in…She came to my door once, complaining, that she could see me getting dressed in my bedroom in the morning at about 8am from her room…I mean who’s the weirdo here?!! I told her it was my home and that I would swing my bits about whenever I wanted because she shouldn’t be peeking in my windows! I then asked if she needed a loan of a pair of binoculars-then she said-‘I’ve already got some’ :|
      What do you say to that? :scratch:

  3. earlywinter says:

    if a woman peeps at me through the curtains id give her a good show lol,ive got a story about that lol,better not write it here. ;-)

  4. earlywinter says:

    ok here we go,years ago i had a little house,and was single,i met a woman who i started dating,there was a block of flats out my front that looked on to my house,it was a teraced house,after a few weeks the lady told me that her friend lived in the flats,and said i had a lovely rear lol,i said you are jokin,you mean to say shes been looking at me in my house,i took it as a complement,couldnt believe a woman had looked at me walking around my house :wacko: would be different the other way round,i said should told her to nock on the door lol :good:

  5. Yewbarrow says:

    wow each, who said gardening was dull – waiting for next instalment

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