A BIT OF FUN

We need a bit of cheering up ’till the weather is more suitable for gardening. Do we have any Lexophile’s among our clickers?
Hers a couple of samples
To write with a broken pencil is pointless
I’m reading a book on anti-gravity, I just can’t put it down
A bicycle can’t stand up on its own , its two tyred

Any one have more to add?

53 Responses

  1. gertie says:

    I liked Dixon’s cracker joke Tony …. Q … . How does Father Christmas like his pizza?
    A. … Deep pan, crisp and even.
    does this count? :rose:

  2. VegVamp says:

    Like it Tony. :good:
    You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.

  3. gertie says:

    I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!

  4. gertie says:

    Here’s one for gardeners maybe ….. . Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking. … okay, I’ll get m’ coat!

  5. dandlyon says:

    It does not matter how much you push an envelope its still stationary

  6. VegVamp says:

    Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

  7. VegVamp says:

    Atoms are such untrustworthy wee beggars. They make up everything.

  8. dandlyon says:

    Stayed up all night to see where the sun went, then it dawned on me

  9. Beanstew says:

    You are a smart lot – and I might be back here in a week if I can only think up one of my own. But for heaven’s sake, don’t hold your breath.

  10. gertie says:

    I like this one … ‘He had a photographic memory which was never developed’ ….okay, off to strip the tree Bye :high-five:

  11. Allan says:

    What do you call a one eyed dinosaur ? A Doyouthinkhesawrus, If You was walking the dog , It would have been Doyouthinkhesawrus Rex. :-(

  12. dandlyon says:

    I wondered why the cricket ball seemed to be getting bigger then it hit me

  13. gertie says:

    . . If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
    Nightnight :confused: :rose: :sleepy: :sleepy:

  14. Beanstew says:

    You are a blooming smart lot!

  15. VegVamp says:

    One for techies, ;-) There are 10 different types of people, those who understand binary and those who don’t.

  16. gertie says:

    Er? … clearly I belong in the second category :confused: …Oooh! of course! …. like Tony’s sun, it dawned on me a second later :lol: :confused: :rose:

  17. SIMONDO says:

    A powerful , loud , obnoxious self publicising person………is a “Trumpet”

  18. Allan says:

    What do they call a woman with a short leg, Eilean.

  19. dandlyon says:

    Sign out side rehab centre keep off the grass

  20. dandlyon says:

    Two fish swim into a wall , one ssys to the other Dam

  21. dandlyon says:

    An old soldier who has survived mustard gas and a pepper spray is a seasoned veteran

  22. Allan says:

    Two blonds walked into a shop up the road,You think one of them would have seen it.

  23. gertie says:

    Loved Tina’s comment …. ‘ but am all behind like Brown’s Cows’ :lol:

  24. dandlyon says:

    I used to be addicted to the Hokey Cokey but I turned my self around

  25. dixon says:

    What would you rather be or a wasp……………………OK Ill turn out the light. :disappointed:

  26. Allan says:

    Wife said, I think I’ll give a lot of my cloths to the charity shop.
    Husband said,Why don’t you bag them and bin them.
    Wife said,But they will be going to poor hungry people,
    Husband said,Anybody who can wear your cloths can’t be hungry.
    Husband trying to say Somthing in hospital. :-(

  27. This is out of a gardening quips and quotes, I received at Christmas.
    It’s obvious carrots are good for your eyesight.have you ever seen arabbit wearing glasses.

    • Jenn says:

      When I worked in a school in London I would often say this when I had dinner with the children. ‘Eat your carrots up’ was usually met with moans so i would say ‘ rabbits eat loads of carrots and you never sre them wearing glasses’ – it sort of become my catchphrase and they would all groan before I got to the end:lol:

  28. Jenn says:

    What do you call a monkey with a hand grenade? A baboom :-)

  29. Jenn says:

    When I worked in a school in London I would often say this when I had dinner with the children. ‘Eat your carrots up’ was usually met with moans so i would say ‘ rabbits eat loads of carrots and you never sre them wearing glasses’ – it sort of become my catchphrase and they would all groan before I got to the end:lol:

  30. Jenn says:

    What do you call a French man wearing sandals? Phillipe Flop.

  31. dixon says:

    Famous quotes. Who said, ( There is nothing wrong with defeat )?……………….Nelson Mandelas chiropadist. ;-)

  32. gertie says:

    Weasels are [w] easily identified whereas a stoat is totally different …boom boom!

  33. dandlyon says:

    The fattest knight at King Arthurs table was Sir Cumference,he got that way because he ate all the pi

  34. dandlyon says:

    A vulture boards a plane carrying two dead racoons, the stewardess says very sorry but passengers are only allowed one carrion

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