A BIT OF FUN
We need a bit of cheering up ’till the weather is more suitable for gardening. Do we have any Lexophile’s among our clickers?
Hers a couple of samples
To write with a broken pencil is pointless
I’m reading a book on anti-gravity, I just can’t put it down
A bicycle can’t stand up on its own , its two tyred
Any one have more to add?
I liked Dixon’s cracker joke Tony …. Q … . How does Father Christmas like his pizza?
A. … Deep pan, crisp and even.
does this count?
Like it Tony.
You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!
Here’s one for gardeners maybe ….. . Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking. … okay, I’ll get m’ coat!
It does not matter how much you push an envelope its still stationary
Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
Atoms are such untrustworthy wee beggars. They make up everything.
Stayed up all night to see where the sun went, then it dawned on me
You are a smart lot – and I might be back here in a week if I can only think up one of my own. But for heaven’s sake, don’t hold your breath.
many of mine are filched Sheila ….. go fishing, you might catch something!
I like this one … ‘He had a photographic memory which was never developed’ ….okay, off to strip the tree Bye
What do you call a one eyed dinosaur ? A Doyouthinkhesawrus, If You was walking the dog , It would have been Doyouthinkhesawrus Rex.
Andy’s question to you Al: What do you call a miniature, one eyed dinosaur?
Doyouthinkhedinkysawrus
My mate Terry Dactil would have known that.
I wondered why the cricket ball seemed to be getting bigger then it hit me
. . If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
Nightnight
You are a blooming smart lot!
One for techies,
There are 10 different types of people, those who understand binary and those who don’t.
Er? … clearly I belong in the second category
…Oooh! of course! …. like Tony’s sun, it dawned on me a second later 
A powerful , loud , obnoxious self publicising person………is a “Trumpet”
What do they call a woman with a short leg, Eilean.
Sign out side rehab centre keep off the grass
Two fish swim into a wall , one ssys to the other Dam
An old soldier who has survived mustard gas and a pepper spray is a seasoned veteran
Two blonds walked into a shop up the road,You think one of them would have seen it.
Loved Tina’s comment …. ‘ but am all behind like Brown’s Cows’
I used to be addicted to the Hokey Cokey but I turned my self around
What would you rather be or a wasp……………………OK Ill turn out the light.
Wife said, I think I’ll give a lot of my cloths to the charity shop.
Husband said,Why don’t you bag them and bin them.
Wife said,But they will be going to poor hungry people,
Husband said,Anybody who can wear your cloths can’t be hungry.
Husband trying to say Somthing in hospital.
Can’t eat clothes either
This is out of a gardening quips and quotes, I received at Christmas.
It’s obvious carrots are good for your eyesight.have you ever seen arabbit wearing glasses.
When I worked in a school in London I would often say this when I had dinner with the children. ‘Eat your carrots up’ was usually met with moans so i would say ‘ rabbits eat loads of carrots and you never sre them wearing glasses’ – it sort of become my catchphrase and they would all groan before I got to the end:lol:
What do you call a monkey with a hand grenade? A baboom
When I worked in a school in London I would often say this when I had dinner with the children. ‘Eat your carrots up’ was usually met with moans so i would say ‘ rabbits eat loads of carrots and you never sre them wearing glasses’ – it sort of become my catchphrase and they would all groan before I got to the end:lol:
What do you call a French man wearing sandals? Phillipe Flop.
Famous quotes. Who said, ( There is nothing wrong with defeat )?……………….Nelson Mandelas chiropadist.
Weasels are [w] easily identified whereas a stoat is totally different …boom boom!
The fattest knight at King Arthurs table was Sir Cumference,he got that way because he ate all the pi
A vulture boards a plane carrying two dead racoons, the stewardess says very sorry but passengers are only allowed one carrion
what a carry on this is! okay, I’ll get m’ one carry-on bag
Nightnight Tony 
